When we lost my friend Dave this past fall it broke our hearts. Dave was funny and so smart. Dave could listen to you like what you were saying mattered the absolute most to him in that moment. Dave painted beautiful things. He painted clouds. He would say that the static membrane of what separated cloud and sky - the part that roiled and pulsed - that was the edge to capture. Dave and I would talk for hours about how hard it is to let people see who you really are- all the parts. We would share our struggle with our individual feelings of rage/doubt/anger/sadness - he believed that you should nurture these feelings and be kind to them and in that kindness it would enable the feelings to leave us. It was hard to draw him away from his studio and into the world so it always felt like a little gift when he’d leave his work and meet me for coffee- still covered in paint but looking glittery eyed and excited.
When Rob (his brother and my friend) asked me to translate one of Dave’s paintings into glass to be set into his headstone it broke my heart all over again. Which painting to use was an easy choice because it’s my favorite. Dave said of it, “you can’t tell if it’s coming together or pulling apart.” To me it’s both. It’s the above and the below. It’s Dave and Rob reaching for each other always. They loved each other so intensely. The hole is a vacuum for anyone who loved him. I’m deeply honored to be able to gift this to his family. Dave could be so calm and he could be a storm. I miss him.
After I got my Plus Ultra tattoo (further beyond) - Dave told me about the Heart Sutra and recited it to me.
The Heart Sutra
The Bodhisattva of Compassion, When he meditated deeply, Saw the emptiness of all five skandhas
And sundered the bonds that caused him suffering.
Here then,
Form is no other than emptiness, Emptiness no other than form. Form is only emptiness, Emptiness only form.
Feeling, thought, and choice, Consciousness itself,
Are the same as this.
All things are by nature void They are not born or destroyed Nor are they stained or pure Nor do they wax or wane
So, in emptiness, no form,
No feeling, thought, or choice, Nor is there consciousness.
No eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind;
No colour, sound, smell, taste, touch,
Or what the mind takes hold of, Nor even act of sensing.
No ignorance or end of it,
Nor all that comes of ignorance;
No withering, no death, No end of them.
Nor is there pain, or cause of pain, Or cease in pain, or noble path
To lead from pain;
Not even wisdom to attain! Attainment too is emptiness.
So know that the Bodhisattva Holding to nothing whatever, But dwelling in Prajna wisdom, Is freed of delusive hindrance, Rid of the fear bred by it,
And reaches clearest Nirvana.
All Buddhas of past and present, Buddhas of future time,
Using this Prajna wisdom,
Come to full and perfect vision.
Hear then the great dharani, The radiant peerless mantra, The Prajnaparamita Whose words allay all pain; Hear and believe its truth!
Gone, gone, gone beyond, completely gone beyond, enlightenment. Gone to the farthest shore.
(L to R: Dave with his paintings; THE painting; Process of translating painting to glass; Finished glass)
